The Crime of being 'Single'

It is a veritable crime to be single in today’s world. A status of single entails that you have nothing to do , no passions , obviously no commitments and therefore are the natural choice to do all the undesirable , time consuming , and ‘after work hours’ jobs that the more privileged ( read married…committed…betrothed and so on) lot cannot take on.

I have lost count of the number of times people have ‘requested’ me to do a bum job assigned to them…..

…. “ I have to go shopping for jewellery with my wife”

….. “Its festival day tomorrow ,and the gods will be displeased if I don’t celebrate it with my family. You of course are an atheist , without any family and a culture-phobe at that ; so of course , it doesn’t matter to you, does it ?”….well , thank you for kindly forgetting that my free time and solitude matters to me…..and whether I use it to declare my infallible servitude to god or use it just to lie supine on my bed and stare at the ceiling is none of your bloody business!!!

….. “ Distant cousins of the third degree are visiting and hence….”

….. “my child’s birthday party”…well excuse me for not feeling thrilled and wishing your child the best of health!!!!
….. the most exasperating one …. “its Feb 14th tomorrow”….as if the tyrant sitting up above has promised special sustained orgasms for those who join in the mass stupidity of other humans in the nauseating celebration of ‘luurrvvee’ with their partners.

…As if these ridiculous explanations were not enough, so-called single individuals are treated with an extraordinary racist outlook…almost as if to say…. “you wanted to be in our position , you’re dying to be in our position….and since you obviously are unlucky or incapable , you deserve to pay for your utter worthlessness in society by serving more worthy citizens like us.”
The venerable organization where I serve takes this sentiment to further extremes..... married people are entitled houses , more luggage allowance during moves , extra allowances in general….and the crowning glory….given more leeway in leave.
Poor guys like us are left to face downright insulting remarks … “Why on earth do you want leave , you’re not even married. Look at him, he has a wife and a small child.”


Well, I have a dream…and not much unlike that of Martin Luther King Jr. That some day I and others like me shall be granted equal status in society , and this without having to remove the ‘single’ tag from my bio-data. That one day our abuse in society will be viewed on an equal platform as that of homosexuals , the non-whites and the socially backward.
To the so-called privileged classes I can only point my extended middle digit and the words of John Lennon…
“You may say I’m a dreamer…but I’m not the only one!”